Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
