I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
