just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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