when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i barfeds in our rink
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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