if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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