I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
