yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
