No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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