My liver just broke up with me...
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
