I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
