Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
