I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
