Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
