Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
