You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
