yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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