its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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