I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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