i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
They are going to name an STD after you.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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