i love accidental penises.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
