I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
how do flat chested girls get laid?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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