just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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