so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
porn star boner night. come get it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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