Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
