____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
