I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
