Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
