There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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