between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
