She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
