I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
did you just send me my own nude
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
