He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
