Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
