We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
