hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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