I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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