I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
