Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
