bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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