i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
