We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
