My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
