There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
