My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
