Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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