You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
her vagine was all disorganized.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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