saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
