Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
