I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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