Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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