No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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