Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
