just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize