I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
