i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Text me some of your sweat
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
