she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
