I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize