dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I deserve this hangover.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
