Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
