I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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