I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
there was a trapeze. enough said
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
