He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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