my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
