i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
