Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
