Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
