Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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