pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
