ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm passing your future prison.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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