Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
