I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
