My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
